I can't deal. I need to vent my rage.

[vergoldung]

Because I'm so late with everything in my life right now, I just watched the Gossip Girl finale.

And now I desperately wish I never had. I want to curl up in a hole and fucking die.

I don't think an hour of TV ever left me this crushed. And it is not the good kind of crushed - the crushing that has you marveling about the writers skills at the same time. Oh, no. Hell no. I am fucking destroyed.

How is something so fucking offensive even allowed to screen? With naive, gullible teens as a target audience? My faith in good things equals zero right now. I don't even care that much about this show. But shameless character assassination, abuse apologia and glorification(!) is just too much to take, even as a casual viewer. HOW DARE THEY. HOW FUCKING DARE THEY PORTRAY A (NEVER-ENDING, THANK YOU VERY MUCH WRITERS!) CYCLE OF ABUSE AS AN ONGOING EPIC ROMANCE? I'm just dumbfounded.

And I made the silly mistake of checking out a youtube link to the most offensive scene of the episode. I want to puke. My faith in people is gone too. It is beyond me. How can writers entice themselves to glamorize the horror of self-loathing, absence of self-worth and blind submission? I'm not cut out for this shit. I have thought a lot about Chuck and Blair (being such a devoted shipper, back in the day - my first ship y'all!) and their place within the show. Wether or not they would be endgame. Wether or not I could deal with that. Naively, I had imagined that I would find it in my heart to gloss over all the bullshit and appreciate their reunion for what it would be what I thought it would have to be for the storytelling to make sense : two people learning from their mistakes, owning up to them, growing up and starting over. WHAT A FOOL I AM. Not only did I not find it in my heart to appreciate it for one second. I actually felt like screaming all the way. But worse. THEY ACTUALLY WENT FULL CIRCLE. Making it crystal clear that the (long overdue!) return of this EPIC relationship will be the blazing storyline of next and finale season. Congratulations. It's despicable.

And I'm done.

At least, I finally get to quit this sorry excuse of a show. So thank you for that, writers.